I figured I’d write a quick post while my kids are (mostly) distracted by breakfast and Panic! At the Disco.
My husband’s best friend just became a dad a few days ago and its got me reflecting on my children’s births. With 5 kids, I’ve obviously been through a few deliveries but I’ll be the first to admit that it doesn’t make me an expert. I’m lucky enough that my body does really well with pregnancy and labor, making for very uncomplicated births. My most complicated (and traumatic) delivery was my 1st. It was that delivery that made me question the entire birthing industry (because that’s what it has become).
Persephone, my oldest child, was born at 37 weeks. My water spontaneously broke before I felt any real contractions. It was kinda like a movie. From water breaking to baby out, I labored for 12 hours. I had wanted to go natural, but everyone (my mom, my sister, my doctor, my husband…) said I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I ended up getting an epidural…which made my blood pressure and O2 levels drop and sent Persephone’s heart rate down. In all the pictures of me for the last few hours of my labor, I look like something is very wrong. When Persephone was born after 20 minutes of pushing, she was blue and they took her away. I had to sit there alone for 10 minutes (because everyone left me and rushed to her) before I heard her cry. It was the longest 10 minutes of my life.
After all that, the doctor stitched up a minor tear and congratulated me on a textbook labor and delivery. After being taken to recovery, I was left alone with a new baby thinking to myself, “If that was textbook, I don’t think I ever want to do this again.” I got an infection from the internal monitor they clipped on Persephone and had to stay in the hospital on an IV for 4 days. I was so shell shocked by the experience and I think that was part of the reason that nursing her was so unsuccessful. I only lasted for 3 months with her, though that was certainly better than nothing.
This is me and Persephone. She was 5 days old and we had been home from the hospital for 1 day.
My kids are done eating now and we’re off for a hike. Next time, I’ll tell you about the birth of baby #2.