I spent most of my pregnancy with Lucius avoiding doctors and tests. I didn’t see the reason for most of the tests they wanted to run and my new OB treated me like an idiot. At one point, he actually responded to a question of mine with, “Look, I’ve delivered more babies than you have, so just do what I tell you.” I was so irritated that I actually snapped back at him (because my brain to mouth filter broke), “You’re a man, so all you’ve ever done is catch a baby. I’ve delivered more children that you ever will.” That was the end of that. I saw him 3 times during my whole pregnancy.
At 39 weeks (I wouldn’t let them change my due date this time), the OB told me I’d be induced at 40 weeks because that was long enough. I said, “Okay” and never went back. I checked my own blood pressure and monitored fetal movement on my own after that and was really excited when I hit 40 weeks. Everyone around me started to freak out, but I felt really calm. I kept saying, “He can stay in there as long as he wants. I’m good.” I loved going “overdue” because I finally felt ready. And feeling ready for the whole thing made a huge difference. I even started making jokes (sorta) about just giving birth in the shower on my own.
Other people were not so okay with me going over. 2 days before I hit 41 weeks, my mom and sister decided we should all go to the zoo. My mom, Lyra (my sister), Persephone, Dimitrios, and I all went to the zoo, where Lyra and my mom let me push a fully stocked double stroller around. If you’ve never been to the Oakland Zoo, let me describe the most obvious feature to a 40+ week pregnant woman: it’s on a cliff with paths at 45 degree angles everywhere. I had mild contractions all day and Lyra and Mom joked about how they were going to walk this baby out of me. I felt fine when we finally got home, though I was a little tired. We all went to bed and slept deeply and happily.
The next morning, I woke up having to go to the bathroom really bad. I started complaining to my husband about how he shouldn’t have let me eat so much bean dip the night before. After about 30 minutes, he told me we should call my mom over to watch the kids and go to the hospital. Why? “Because you’ve been complaining about the bean dip every 7 minutes for the last half hour.” I’m not in labor, dude! And even if I was, this has to be super early labor. I don’t want to hang around a hospital all day.
20 minutes later, my mom shows up. Yeah, he called her behind my back. “Let’s just go for a trial run. It’ll be fun!” Okay, let me make the kids’ breakfast first. y mom looked at me like I had 3 heads. The 2 of them pretty much shoe horned me out the door.
The hospital was about 30 minutes away, and the car ride made me realize that I was in labor. It still didn’t feel like I was that far along, but I was having contractions every 3-5 minutes. They didn’t hurt, but I couldn’t walk very well through them by the time we got to the hospital. Poor Ant was pretty much sure I was going to deliver the baby while we were walking and and yelled at the security guard, “3rd baby in 3 years!” Poor security guard freaked out and ran to get a wheel chair. I have to admit, I was pretty embarrassed that no one would let me wake. We rode up the elevator with another couple in labor. The poor woman was leaned against the wall, wailing through contractions. When we got to L&D, I insisted they take her first. Apparently, I didn’t even look like I was in labor.
Here comes the funny part…
The only way we could get any one’s attention (after the wailing woman) was for Ant to yell “This is her 3rd baby in 3 years and she’s 41 weeks!” Suddenly, I’m being rushed into triage so they can check me. I could still hear the wailing woman. They had to yell her measurements over her screaming so I got to hear it (2cm). There I am, cool as a cucumber. The attending nurse checked me and turned pale…
“Has your water broken?” No. “Are you sure?” This is my 3rd kid. I know what it feels like to have my water break. Why? “Do you have any urge to push?” No. My contractions aren’t even that hard. Why? “Ummm…because you’re 10cm and the head is right there.” Oh, shit! Really? “We need to move this bed to a room right away.” No, I can walk there. “No, you really can’t.” Sure I can. (It took Ant pointing out that I wasn’t wearing pants for me to agree to be wheeled to a room).
Once in a labor room, I was making jokes with all the nurses. The midwife actually said to me, “You’re making this look too easy.” It was pretty funny. After about 30 minutes there, I started to have “real” contractions. They still weren’t more than I could handle, but it was defiantly labor now. I flipped around in the bed for awhile trying to get comfy before my water broke. The midwife let me pick what position I wanted to be in to push. 10 minutes of pushing/letting my body push and she let Ant help catch our son and put him in my arms. Lucius weighed 1 ounce less than Dimitrios had and my chart reflects what is officially considered 1 hour of labor (the time from when I got to the hospital to when Lucius was born) with no medical interventions. They never even bothered to try and give me an IV because the midwife and I agreed that there was no point.
I went home the next day after refusing pretty much everything they offered me (except food) with a happy little boob-baby. Seriously, he ate so much after he was born that my milk came in in less than 12 hours. We called him snake bite because of the way he would lunge for my boob.
His big brother and big sister were overjoyed to have him. It was the beginning of a small obsession with babies for the 2 of them. Persephone was 8 days away from her 3rd birthday and Dimitrios was about 1 1/2.